Cuddlebug's December 2004 Photos

Cuddlebug's December 2004 Photos
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December 2004 Update

I don't know how Anne Lamott wrote everyday the first year of her son's life, especially since she was/is a single parent! I hardly have time to shower, much less write. I have been able to read a lot. Mira does not like to sleep alone. I put her down and she wakes up. That's okay - I'm catching up on lots of reading.

I had to take her to the dr yesterday to check her bilirubin levels again. Agonizing. She wailed like I had never heard her do before and it broke my heart. Levels are at 11 and the dr wants to test again in 3 weeks if she's still jaundiced. We'll see about that.

Today we slept, read, had some massage and naked time. I love to watch her sleep. She is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

With all the reading I've done on attachment, I know too much for my own good. I worry about the care I'm giving her. Last night after her 3:30 feeding, she didn't want to go back to sleep. I didn't get overtly frustrated, but inside I was frustrated and I worry she picks up on that. I have to remember that I don't have the right to 8 hours of sleep, but she does have the right to receive prompt and loving care. I think I do this 99% of the time. Of course, I obsess over that tiny 1%.

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